If your outgo exceeds your income your upkeep will be your downfall

I've been increasingly frustrated lately with the City of Toronto and their money woes. They have complained since 1997 about the fact (very true) that local service realignment was not "revenue neutral" and that the City has a higher burden than others in the Greater Toronto Area when it comes to various costs associated with making a city livable. More than just annually at budget time, we constantly hear about how Toronto needs money from the Province. Then there was the GTA pooling debacle. Finally the Province decides to give Toronto a little bit more freedom to exercise it's own taxing powers and take charge of its destiny.

Except it would seem that Toronto has no cojones.

To look at this another way.....say I complain about never having enough money. And my friends and family get sick of having to bail me out so one of them finds me a job. What a great idea - a longer term source of stable income from which I can budget accordingly

And then I say, "But I don't want a job, I just want money." I'd rather rely on the increasingly resentful generosity of others.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, life doesn't work that way unless you're Paris Hilton or something.

But the City of Toronto isn't heir to any great parental fortune, so I say, time to get your sh*t together and move on. Decide which taxes you will charge to raise additional funds or cut services and take it like a grown up.

Mom doesn't like the spelling of bologna

The more you kiss, the frencher it gets?

There's an interesting article in The Next American City called "What's in a slogan?". What's not included is the one I heard about at the recent National BIA conference - "Keep Austin Weird".

Montreal's supposed slogan (above) is really bad. Doesn't really say cosmopolitan, worldy, heritage, does it?

Note that this Psychic knows she's only 98% accurate

Use that Capital One card to buy...

I was listening to CBC Radio 1 on my way home from a weekend work thing and found myself enjoying, as usual, the musings of Terry O'Reilly and the Age of Persuasion. Great stuff, I highly recommend it. Anyway, interesting factoid is that the ditty from the Capital One commercials ("Hands in my pocket...") was created specifically for the commercial, but with the commercial's success, was made into an actual full length song by the songwriter, Jim Guthrie. You can listen to it here. I expected it to be more about banks, more about "the man", more funny. It's none of those, but it's still quite catchy.

Kind of ironic though, that the guy's now found a way to get his hands into your pockets...

Driving Directions

So I was trying to figure out how to get from Niagara Falls, ON to the Walden Galleria in Buffalo on Google Maps just now and Catherine tells me to try asking it for driving directions from New York City to London, England. You may be thinking this is impossible. Bring your speedo.

Never one to give up on such an oddity I tried Hong Kong, then Hawaii, then Japan. Apparently swimming the Atlantic is perfectly acceptable, but the Pacific is just out of the question.

Also, when it comes to Cuba, you just cannot get there from here. New York City or Toronto.

The case for spending more time in Walmart, or not

This afternoon I was in a giant Wally-world with my parents and my grandparents. You know what they say about herding cats? Yep, that’s how I felt. We were in the bathroom accessories section and 2 of my four companions felt the need to stress very strongly to me that what we needed to get right now, absolutely this moment, was socks. Sigh. Thank goodness the dog isn’t so demanding. Although I did wake up this morning with him hanging his head over mine and staring straight into my eyes, willing me to awaken, no doubt. If I could attribute some insight to him, he was likely cursing his lack of opposable thumbs and wanting the door open.

But back to Walmart. So I finally find the parents in the frozen food section and call out to them while simultaneously waving madly at Grandma further down in the condiments section. Just then, a nice, youngish looking guy walks buy with a friendly looking smirk and says “Lose someone?”. I replied “A couple of people, actually,” and smiled back. Then he disappeared. Oh my god, there might have been a half decent guy in Walmart. It’s making me rethink the time I spend in Indigo. But anyway, he’s gone, or maybe was an apparition, and I really wasn’t in best form having spent the last hour herding the aforementioned recalcitrant felines.

None of this is earth-shattering news of course, but Catherine called tonight and mentioned that she’d checked my blog and I hadn’t written lately. Remember, I was raised Catholic. Dammit, I owe the universe a post! Really, probably no one cares, but such is the nature of Catholicism: If shit happens, it’s all your fault. In fact, even if it doesn't happen, it's your fault. Amen.

What you don't learn you are condemned to repeat...

"Send Francie. The last time I asked for sauerkraut he chased me out of the store," complained Neeley.

"You've got to ask for Liberty Cabbage now, you dope," said Francie.

"Don't call each other names," chided Katie absendmindedly.

"Did you know they changed Hamburg Avenue to Wilson Avenue?" asked Francie.

"War makes people do funny things," sighed Katie.

From "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith.


Remember the "Freedom Fries"?

Cover bands don’t change the world

I stole that. From the Accidental Creative. I think that might actually be ironic instead of just coincidental, but coming from the Alanis Morrissette generation, I've always been confused. I downloaded a podcast of his some time ago and finally got around to listening to it on Sunday. His tag line – that cover bands don’t change the world – reminded me of Douglas Coupland's Microserfs striving to, one day, be 1.0. I hope I’m remembering that right since it’s been years since I read that book.

Incidentally, right now I’m reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. It’s keeping me up at night…I can’t seem to put it down. Very well written.

But what I bothered to stay up for last night, again foolishly, was Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It used to be good. Now it’s dry. I keep waiting for something compelling to happen. It hasn't for the last two episodes. What I liked about it originally was the same thing I liked about the West Wing (aside from the subject matter) , that being the dialogue. Again, very well written. But not so much anymore it seems. I guess the comparison isn’t surprising because it comes from the creator of the West Wing trying to hit it big for a second time. With the same stuff. Which maybe isn’t a terrible idea, but you can’t forget that cover bands just don’t change the world.

i (heart) valentines?

Sturdy Danny McGee is back!

Okay, so he's probably clear-cutting. And I don't like cereal. But damn, this commercial brings back memories. Just goes to show that it's not about selling a product, but an idea or feeling. This commercial, which even after at least 20 years I remember every blessed word, makes me feel like I'm sitting on the floor of the basement in the house in Regina, watching cartoons on the old TV. No HD, possibly not even a remote control. Man, wasn't life easier then. Maybe I should buy a box....

The day that should be a statutory holiday

sir john
Originally uploaded by Sea Lion.

Happy Birthday to Sir John A. Macdonald.

Maybe the Dixie Chicks were right....duh!

And one more honourable mention....

• Volunteering at Concerts in the Park with the M&M family.

Lise's Top Ten of 2006

10. Boston Pizza opened a store across the street from where I work! Woo hoo!

9. December 15 - Nancy and I see the Nathaniel Dett Chorale at the Weston Recital Hall, Toronto Centre for the Arts. Mere words can't describe the experience...and it brings forth that Christmas spirit.

8. November 10 - Liz, Tasha and I see Wicked at the Canon Theatre. We laugh as Ga-linda screws up the lines during "Popular" - making it all the more fun.

7. Wayne Johnston releases the Custodian of Paradise, which is a sequel, or rather an expansion of the story he began in my favourite novel, The Colony of Unrequited Dreams.

6. May's patio lunch with Mom, Dad, Alex, Paul and Julie. Nice visit, nice weather, yummy food. It's the simple things that make life a pleasure.

5. December 16 - Dinner with Claudine and Minard at the David Duncan House, only this time Chyra came along too.... "Chyra and Auntie Lise eat zucchini toGETHer!"

4. Saw Pinball Clemons speak at a work event in May. He is a truly genuine human being and an inspiration - which says a lot since I have no idea what 'running back' or 'combined yards' mean.

3. Woo hoo!!! Motorcycle ride with Aunt Julie through Lorette, Manitoba in July. First time I've ever been on one that was moving. I think I sat on one that was parked when I was 2.

2. Coaching Grandpa to write his memoirs by way of asking him questions and getting him to send me answers via snail mail. So far I've learned about his first car and his early memories of Winnipeg. As well as how they kept track of time in rural Manitoba when he was little.

1. New Job! Even if it may only be for one, maybe two years (though I continue to hope for more). I now work with a group of challenging and inspirational people at in a role that, although sometimes frustrating, feels meaningful and purposeful. Yay!

Some honourable mentions:

• Groundhogs at the Assiniboine Park Zoo. They are mesmerizingly entertaining.
• Knorr Frozen Entrees - Yum.
• I discovered a new bookstore - Books on the Hill in Richmond Hill.
• Target's dollar store section.
• Hearing Rick Haldenby talk about the University of Waterloo's School of Architecture's move to Cambridge, not once, but twice.
• Rugelach at Mom's Love Delicatessen and Bakery.
• My personal discovery of YouTube (okay, I'm a bit slow sometimes).
• Getting An Inconvenient Truth for Christmas...and already watching it twice.
• Dixie Chicks concert, Melissa Etheridge concert, George Stro...whatever in person, Jackie Richardson sings the national anthem at the Inaugural Meeting of Council in Richmond Hill.
• Anderson Cooper rings in 2006 on CNN.

Here's to all the great moments to come in 2007!

Mom wishes you a Merry Christmas

Another reason why life doesn't seem fair....

Monica Lewinsky just received her master's degree. From the London School of Economics. How nice that she got a chance to do something that not many women in this world have the opportunity to do. I mean go to graduate school at a prestiguous institution. What did you think I meant?

Somehow I just think that there were harder working, more ethical women out there who try to live lives of real purpose who deserved the opportunity more.

The Hour with George

Where is the Secret of Life?

Dems in, Rummy and K-Fed out

To quote supermodel Heidi Klum, "in the world of [politics] one day you're in, and the next day you're out".

Blasphemous though it may be, I kinda wanted the Republicans to squeak through with a bare win in yesterday's mid-term elections. Now the Democrats are going to fuck it all up by trying to impeach the president or something and end up losing in 2008. I guess that statement can really be summed up with "a pox on both your houses" because they both suck lately. I mean, yeah, go and try to extricate yourselves from Iraq after messing things up there. I'm sure the Iraqis care whether it was the Democrats or the Republicans who came marching in on the white horse to save the day, only to screw it up like they have something to compensate for, if ya know what I mean. Maybe it's not a just war, maybe it's just none of your business, but when you claimed to be able to fix it and only made it worse, you have to do something more morally inspiring than the classic cut and run.

I have this vague recollection of reading about how Rumsfeld didn't like being filmed during press conferences in front of a statue of a naked woman. I tried to find it again but the search came up with too many hits on inhumane treatment by American soldiers. Just before dinner I saw Nancy Pelosi on CNN with Wolf Blitzer and he congratulated her on being the first woman speaker of the House of Representatives. Then she started talking about how she was about to be a grandmother.

So, no art, and remember not to feel proud of your accomplishments.

God knows we have so much to be embarrassed about.