Eagle's Point at the Grand Canyon. See the eagle? It's wings, it's right talon? You can see why the Hualapai's view this area as sacred. Having said that, even though they do a good job of keeping the commercial out, they do have a amateur type operation (sorry) and that sort of cheapens it a bit.

The Fountains at Bellagio. Pictures can't do them justice. This is an example of a hotel doing the entertainment thing right, unlike that Sirens of TI thing I witnessed twice at my hotel. It's big, but somehow understated at the same time. And it reminds me of the close of Oceans 11 (the one with Brad Pitt). Throw in a little Frank Sinatra music, and who couldn't love it? One of the songs the fountains played to was that "One, singular sensation.." song you hear so often from some Broadway show. The fountains actually looked like a chorus line of women kicking up their legs. Fabulous.

Las Vegas Surreality - Day 5

Now I'm really starting to feel it, you know. I mean it's warm and sunny and I'm loving that, but I'm starting to feel like I need to go home and chill for a bit. But there was still more to see, and I suppose there is always more to see in Vegas (and I mean this in a purely innocent way, okay?), and never enough time. Especially for me, there's never enough energy. I don't want to try one of those Red Bull things.

We started off with breakfast at Kahunaville by the TI pool. Nice to sit outside among the palm trees, which I liked so much I wish I could have brought some home with me. No I did not have a margarita with breakfast. Too early for me, but let me be clear that it wasn't too early for everyone. I suspect some people can't do Vegas without a drink in their hand at all times. And a cigarette in another.

Then it was across the street to check out Wynn's. The owner is Steve Wynn, builder of the Bellagio, another spectacular hotel which he recently sold. There's a lot of palms and pines and a giant water feature infront of the hotel that make it seem very exotic. There's apparently a fabulous golf course behind it that you either have to pay 500$$ a round for, or be a current or former President of the U.S. The hotel itself has this bronze colour which looks stunning. They had a guy with a mirror to look under cars at the entrance, as well as a guy holding back two german shepherds. As I've mentioned before, security is now serious business in the U.S.

Wynn's sports a Ferrari-Maserati dealership inside the hotel which you have to line up to get into. I touched a 1.9 million dollar car for probably the first and only time in my life. So you know cars don't really do it for me, but just the idea that someone would buy a car while in Las Vegas, especially such a luxury one, is just stunning to think about. There are actually some people out there for whom this seems like a reasonable afternoon purchase while on vacation. Amazing.

So then we headed down the strip to Bellagio's to chill out on the "Via Bellagio" while overlooking their luxurious looking pools. The Bellagio is the only resort I can remember that actually puts seating out for people that isn't part of a restaurant or anything. I mean what's up with that? On the maps, it doesn't look like there's much distance between casinos, but on the ground it's a different story. And then you get lost in them, which causes you to spend more time on your feet. I guess it's just another ploy to get you gamble, just to get off your feet.

We had dinner at an outside bar at Caesars after Nancy lost some money at a blackjack table in Bellagio's casino. As I sat beside a little person while she was doing this (which is I guess the appropriate term for midget? Vertically challenged? I dunno, but for the record, I'm trying not to be offensive hear) and watched people go by pushing strollers with one hand and drinking beer in the other. Kind of felt like a Twin Peaks sort of moment.

To close off, before heading back to the hotel and the airport, we checked out the Bellagio fountains one more time. *Sigh* Nancy was still on her gambling high, and it was getting close to 8:30 or so.

By the way, the airport in Vegas has tons of slot machines. If you have an addiction problem, it's definitely not the place to be. And while you're on the moving sidewalks there, you hear announcements from everyone from Wayne Newton to Debbie Reynolds advising you to keep to the left if you're not walking to allow the walkers to pass.

Las Vegas is very surreal.

Ah yes, and my grand total of winnings is $62.50. And because I'm not a fan of gambling, I'll also point out that the downside is I lost about $10.00. The lesson is cash out when you win.

Big boxes to check out - Vegas Day 4

We started off with a spectacularly overpriced breakfast at the Starbucks in TI. Like NYC, there is a Starbucks ever time you turn around in Vegas. Nancy noticed this guy sitting off in a corner there, in a business suit with a green shirt and some papers. She then noticed him again while we were at the mall. A little freaky, but I think it was just a coincidence. I assume so anyway, because I'm still alive and I'm not missing anything. I didn't really notice this guy, but I did notice Kato Kaelin (of OJ houseguest fame) coming out of the elevator at TI as we were getting on it. Yes, my one and only celebrity siting, if, in fact, you could call this deadbeat a celebrity.

Next we took a cab to the outlet mall on Charleston, which is north of the strip. It was raining a bit (wow, a whole 3 one hundreths of an inch--tons by desert standards) so we thought this would be good, but it turned out to be more of an big box outdoors mall. But, the rain didn't last long, so no worries. Although I did pick up two pairs of shoes at this place, I was quite disappointed. I figure that if a shirt says XL on it it should be a bit too big for a Barbie doll, but apparently I'm wrong. In FCUK (French Connection UK--but we all know why they called it that), they had some cute t-shirts that had sequined sayings like "fcuk in las vegas" and "fcuk in sin city", but even the men's XL was too small. And really you'd have to be a pretty thin guy to feel comfortable in it. Alas, I probably wouldn't have worn it in public anyway, so no big loss I guess.

So after we got back from the mall we chilled a bit and then headed out to the Rio to pick up the tickets for Penn and Teller that night. The Rio is interesting. Dancing scantily clad women on gaming tables. Not really my thing. The cashier was labeled "Banco del Rio", which is also a bit scary for those gamblers out there.

We walked across the street to the Palms for dinner as we'd been told this is the place for celebrity sitings. But, as I mentioned, I only saw Kato, so no luck. We ate at Gardunos (more Mexican food, more margaritas, more guacamole) and then headed back for the show.

The doors for Penn and Teller open at 8, but the show doesn't begin until 9. After arriving at 8:10, I saw there was a reason for this. Starting at 8, a guy entertains you with some lovely piano jazz, accompanied by Penn on the upright bass. And if that weren't pleasant enough, in between songs, he beseeches you to come up on stage and participate in the "Penn and Teller box viewing experience". These are the boxes that Teller will be locked in during the bit that opens the show. You can go on stage and open, turn them over, whatever, but he says "Please, please, for your own safety, do not get into the box". This was a cute little part of the show...."Are you sitting next to someone that complains you never take them anywhere? Well why not take them on stage now for the Penn and Teller box viewing experience!!"

At the beginning of the show, Teller actually comes out the box. Which to my knowledge and as far as I can see, never left the stage, and the last person to touch it was actually an audience member. Whatever. I won't give up how he got out of the locked box later on, just to preserve the magic for those of you that follow...

So Penn had an entertaining bit about juggling broken liquor bottles, which he actually did behind plexiglass "because of an unfortunate incident with an audience member in Minneapolis". They also did this trick with bullets that was quite spectacular. I think if it was just the magic stuff it would have been dry, but there was a lot of razzing of other Vegas acts and some biting political commentary in there too, which made it great. I think it was still a bit overpriced, as are most things in Vegas, but it was definitely good.

This was actually the day that the new Wynn Las Vegas resort opened at 12:01 a.m. We went the next day, but did catch the huge line of people waiting to get in. Apparently the place cost 2.7 billion to make, and with 2700 rooms, that works out to about a million big ones each. Lots of news people around, mostly camped out across the street infront of the New Frontier Hotel---which was ironically bought by Donald Trump recently. No doubt, in a few years, they will all be camped out at the Wynn watching whatever Trumped up place is built to replace the New Frontier. It's just one giant pissing contest on the strip. But then again, in Vegas, you can never be too thin or too rich. Or too shiny and big and over the top.

Anyway, so after Penn and Teller we went into the Tangerine nightclub at TI where I had their signature drink, a "Tangerine Octane". No idea what precisely was in it, but it was okay. From the Tangerine, we watched the Sirens of TI yet again. Still not as good as the fountains, but not bad. By the way, I got carded trying to get into the Tangerine. Not one, but two bouncers looked carefully at my ID. Kinda nice to think in my year of the big 3-oh someone may actually think I haven't yet hit 21. Thanks guys.

So by now I'm totally exhausted and we sit down at some slots. Pulling out a few quarters from my pocket, I end up winning 40 bucks. Not bad considering to this point, I'd probably spent a grand total of about 6 bucks on gambling.

The Wild West - Vegas Day 3

Wednesday was a great day. We got picked up by Bill of ATV Adventure Tours for a "Four Aces" trip to Lake Mead, the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon and the Joshua Forest. We shared the van with 8 others, only 2 of which were Americans, from New Jersey. Not great representatives for their nation, but whatever. Two others were from Mexico, two from England and we had two other fellow Canucks from Victoria, BC. Of course, they were the nicest, and like us, were always back where we were supposed to be at the right time, next to us. Canadians are the best. Really.

Now before I get into details of the trip, I should mention that I think this was the day that someone got shot and killed in the parking lot of the Palms, which is just off the strip. Or, I guess it was late the night before, whatever. Anyway, it was affecting traffic the next morning, and the local shows had helicopters above. You could see the body, covered up, as well as several people standing around the scene, with the usual police tape all over the place. If you saw me glued to the tv then, you might have thought I was worried about safety, as Nancy and I planned to go to the Palms the next day. Really, I was just looking for Grissom. :)

So the first stop on our adventure was Lake Mead. The roads on the way there look nice and new. It would seem that Las Vegas benefits from some state and federal infrastructure money (HINT HINT to tptb here in Canada). Got lots of good info from Bill, our guide, about how Las Vegas is 7 years into a drought, about how residents aren't allowed to have grass in their front yards, and have a maximum amount they can have in their backyards (I forget how much, but it didn't sound like a lot). Both Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam had rings of white on the cliffs around the water, calcium deposits I suppose, that showed just how low the water level was.

Since my parents went to Vegas, 9-11 has changed the tourists view of the Hoover Dam. There are checkpoints with with some level of police on both sides (federal? state?) checking out your vehicle and who's on board. Also, you can't get deep into the workings of the dam like you used to. It's clear that things have changed. The feds are funding a giant highway that by-passes the dam entirely, as commercial traffic is no longer allowed to drive across it.

So next, we began the long drive to the Grand Canyon, part of it being off road in the Joshua Forest. Good thing they had some heavy duty tires on that van. Two-thirds of the Grand Canyon area is the property of the Hualapai nation (pronounced Wall-a-pie). We went to the West rim, which, I'm told is the least commercial view. First you stop off at the little Grand Canyon West airport (where we lost four of our ten to the helicopter tour) and then we hopped on a big bus for a lift to "Eagle Point" then "Guano Point" (yes, that guano, it means what you think). Eagle Point is so named because of the eagle formation you can see in the rocks. I'll try to throw a picture of that up here in the next little while. Very cool. But it was warm, just windy, which is a little frightening when there's nothing separating you from the top and a fall to your demise and being eaten by wildlife. But, as I'm typing this, you know I didn't fall. Never really got closer than 2 feet from the edge, and quite frankly, that's a-ok with me.

At Guano Point we had a BBQ lunch prepared by the natives. The beef had apparently started cooking sometime the day before on hickory wood. It was good, but hard to keep the paper plate down. So about the Guano. I really don't know. I think that's what the rock in that part was originally. It didn't smell or anything. Great view.

I was still pretty cautious, and didn't go as high up as Nancy. Quite frankly my legs were killing me from all the walking and I really didn't feel sure-footed enough.

On the drive back to Vegas, most of us were asleep, at least once we got past the off road portion and onto the smoother highway. But back to the off road portion....we stopped in the Joshua forest to take some pictures and a got stabbed in the hand by one of those suckers, which are more like a cactus than a tree really. Some were apparently as old as 900 years, but that's through carbon dating, as they have no trunk to allow you to count the rings--I'll try to get a picture of that up later. We also drove by a Dude Ranch somewhere around there. Yes, there are actual Dude Ranches still out there, letting your average business guy be a cowboy for a week. I saw horse covered wagons and the like. Didn't see the snakes, but they were apparently there, so I was happy we stayed in the van and kept going.

So the tour was fun, and maybe next time I'll be brave enough to try the helicopter one. We'll see...

Back on the strip for dinner we went to the Venetian's Taqueria Canonita for more Mexican food. More guacamole. More margaritas. Yummy. The restaurant was right on the canal so we got to watch the gondolas go by with their opera singing drivers.

After dinner we took the bus to the Freemont District to see the ceiling light show. It was okay, but compared to the rest of the trip, it was kinda boring. The people gambling at the downtown casinos looked like life had been really hard on them, as they drank and smoked and lost more nickels. It was definitely for the more senior, far too serious gambler.

It's Vegas Baby! - Day 2

Got up relatively early to check out "Dishes" the buffet at Treasure Island. Totally stuffed my face, as, I believe, did Nancy. In Las Vegas, there is so much food and so little time to eat it all. Then we walked over to the Mirage to see "Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat". It's amazing how close it is to the Strip and yet how far away it feels. Had a couple of twinges of guilt about the animals, but they seemed happy and well taken care of, so... The dolphins reminded me of how much I missed Mojo. The big cats were all sleeping. That's the life, eh? The Thai Elephant, Greta, has a pet turkey. While we were there, Greta relieved herself. Here's another tip: never be around a peeing elephant. Firstly, it's really not that pretty, and secondly, the odour is unpleasant and significant.

So then we went back onto the strip, and had some dollar margaritas. I may not mention all the subsequent margaritas, but most were better than this one. I guess, what do you expect for a dollar?

Then we went to Paris-Las Vegas, where I lost a whole dollar at the slots. You see, I just don't find gambling that interesting. Anyway, then we went up the "Eiffel Tower" and took some pictures of the Strip. It's quite impressive how the bottom of the Eiffel Tower is right in the middle of the casino there--indoors. All in all Paris is pretty nice. But really, if you're going to have a woman in the elevator up the Eiffel Tower giving you information partially in French, it might be good to choose someone who doesn't massacre the language that badly. Sounded like something close to French in a seriously heavy, almost over the top comical, New York accent. And she had to close her eyes while she was giving the schpiel. Whatever, it was still a good view.

And then, we were off to Aladdin and the "Desert Passage" shopping centre inside it. They try to make it actually look like it's a bunch of small buildings under an open sky since the ceiling, like many other places on the strip, is painted to look like a blue sky with some passing clouds. Not totally unbelievable either. So they had a "Bath and Body Works" in this place, which we went to, and somehow the cashier just knew we were from Canada. So, attention Bath and Body Works head honchos. Time to come to Canada, okay!

So the rest is a little blurry in my mind because of the pain in my feet and possibly the effects of a cheap margarita. But we saw MGM Grand, green to be reminiscent of the Emerald City (and I recall it being way too dark inside), Excalibur (why do they have sand in the moat and not water?) and then the Luxor, where we ate at "The Phoenix" cafe. Hooray, they had skim milk there! Okay, so it didn't taste like the skim milk at home, but it was still great. I had quesadillas, which you all know are my fave, and discovered just how much I really like guacamole.

Next we got lost in the New York-New York casino (see my comment on Caesar's yesterday) and sat on the "Brooklyn Bridge" for a bit doing some people watching. As a side note, everyone there seems really friendly, and I'm not just talking about the people looking for tips. Can't tell you how many times people offered to take our picture, or asked if we could take theirs. I guess when you're so far removed from reality, you can afford to hang loose a bit.

And about New York-New York, it's designed to look like downtown New York with the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building, among others. But not the WTC. And it was built before 9-11. So why no Twin Towers? Because the whole thing is built to 25% scale and to do the WTC would have made it too high, too close to the airport. Lucky for them I guess, because having them in Vegas, even replicas, might be a little sad, maybe even distasteful at this point.

So anyway, then we checked out the CVS pharmacy on the strip (really huge, sells everything) and I stocked up on some much needed liquids. Remember Lise, you are in the desert here.

Finally, we wrapped things up by checking out another 3 performances at the Bellagio fountains before walking back (and it's a long walk, especially past Caesar's) to the hotel for the night.

My Las Vegas Trip - Day 1

Left on Monday, flew to Phoenix then Vegas. There was a security problem at the Phoenix airport, and the wing of the plane almost hit a van, but we made it, despite our "Bo and Luke Duke" type pilots. Really it was okay, I'd fly America West again. Nice people. Cabbed it to Treasure Island where the check in area has a view of the pool area. Stayed in room 4089. We walked down the strip looking for food and stopped at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. That was Margarita numero uno. There were many more and I lost track. Then we got lost in Caesar's Palace. The entrance to the Casino is always so easy to find, but they really make it difficult to find the exit. They are never labeled. Good thing that nothing went up in flames while we were there. We then went back to the hotel to watch the "Sirens of TI" show. Battle for Buccaneer Bay between the "Pirates" and the "Wenches". Whatever. My feet started to hurt around then and haven't yet recovered, which is not to say it wasn't all worth it. We then went to the Mirage to check out the volcano, which was cool, but not as impressive as the Fountains at Bellagio, which were next. I don't think I can describe them in a way that does it justice. It's like fireworks, only more beautiful, and classier. The first 'performance' we saw was to "Luck be a Lady". Later in the trip I would also see David Foster's Olympic song, Frankie singing "Fly me to the moon", and several other really great classical songs. Can't say enough about these fountains. You're probably thinking, yeah whatever, but if you're ever in Vegas, trust me on this, you will want to see them.

I think that it was this night, as we walked back to the hotel that I saw a guy changing light bulbs for the street lights on the strip. Firstly, one wonders really how much more light the streetlights lend to the strip with all the flash there from the casinos and hotels, and then secondly, you begin to think about what must be a group of civil servants, working at about 11 p.m. local time. Overtime? Shift work? I guess when you're bread and butter is a small strip of land that attracts half the world it's justifiable.

By the way, the place is totally spotless in terms of litter. You don't even see tons of those little flyers for prostitutes that everyone hands out dropped all over the place. And with the volume of those that are around, I can't possibly think that everyone who gets one sticks it in their pocket.

Tomorrow I go to Las Vegas...

The furthest west I've ever been. I'll miss Mojo. Here he is in the window.

But on the upside, I'll get to see the Grand Canyon. And "Sin City". And much as I'd like to run into Grissom and Warrick, I think I'd prefer to stay away from that side of Vegas. And yes I know they aren't real, but you get a grip okay. Learn how to take a joke for once.

Time, it goes so slowly if you're Catholic...

So in his first homily, according to CBC Radio this morning, Pope Benedict XVI spoke in Latin and referred to himself in the third person.

Yep, that just says everything about what's wrong with the Catholic Church now, doesn't it?

So much for Vatican 2. I guess it would be misleading to say that a different choice by the cardinals would have brought me to a church this coming Sunday, but it's still sad. But I guess if they just got around to forgiving Galileo, what was that, about ten years ago, then we can't expect them to recognize the equality of women for oh, about another two thousand years.

Let's exhale together ladies...

It's not the flu...

It's ginger ale. I feel awful, though not as awful as yesterday. Yes, what's in the picture above has been my constant friend over the past few days. This is my first attempt at a marginally artsy type picture with my new camera.