so sweet and pure and still newsworthy

Yesterday I was driving around in the big smoke, somewhat aimlessly, listening to Sarah Harmer's latest and greatest in stark contrast to my transportative existence in the city of lost innocence.

First the album...there's something so sweet and pure about this one, kinda bluegrass sounding (and I only sort of know what that might mean). The lyrics are cute, although I'll have to listen to "I'm a Mountain" a few more times to fully grasp that Walmart reference. I *love* "Oleander" and "I am Aglow", for both their lyrics and the instrumentation. Notice it's not "I'm Aglow" but "I am Aglow", which sounds a bit more certain and worthy.

And back to the city. Didn't make it down to Dundas Square but only as far as Yonge and Eglinton and then I'd had enough. I should've counted the traffic lights as I listed to "Escarpment Blues". But I was also thinking about the now named Jane Creba. If you were to google her right now, the logarithms still rate her as an award winner in the Toronto District School Board. It's far more than just a shame that it won't last that way for long. She's quite striking in the picture on the front page of all the papers. Shot in the head. Can there be anything more inhuman? More sudden? More disheartening?

And yet when I first heard I don't remember feeling surprised, just sad...thinking about her family, and hoping she didn't have enough time to feel terrified. Hoping that her family's terror will be mitigated by...what? God? Community? Faith?

I remember how shocked I felt by Vivi Lemonis in 1994 (yes, I had to google it to remember the date). I don't feel the same with Jane, but it does feel different. I hope that's a result of something other than desensitization, or being jaded. I think it's something else, because while I don't feel concerned for the soul of the city, whatever that means, I do feel concerned for her family and friends and her school.

And to the guy who wrote to the Star about how we don't hear about people being stabbed in Times Square, maybe it's just that we don't hear about it, not that it doesn't happen. I felt safe when I was there. And the next time I go to the Eaton Centre I'll probably be more concerned about someone stealing my purse than getting shot. But I am happy to live in a place where every single victim of gun violence is analyzed and agonized over in the local, even national news. Thank god it's still newsworthy. Let's keep it that way.

Nothing has ended
It's all been mended
It's the way that it should be
You're coming back
You're coming back
It was so lonely here just me
This time no promises of what's to come
We'll just live it for the day
Oleander I see you stand there and I know you'll be ok

-from "Oleander" by Sarah Harmer

Do they know it's Christmas?

If you click the title you'll end up at a CBS webpage where, on the left about halfway down you can watch a video about Ben Stein's thoughts on Christmas. For the record, if you want to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, or Eid, or Kwanzaa or simply offer best wishes over the holiday season...heck if you want to invite me to just enjoy the time off work, I will not be offended. Quite frankly, I celebrate Christmas as a doubtful Christian anyway. I think of it more as a non-denominational goodwill sort of holiday. And you don't need to believe in Jesus or Santa Claus to let a little joy and goodwill into your heart. Too bad it only happens once a year, even if it is for practically one sixth of said year.

On the other hand, thank god (whoever you may be) that it only happens once a year. Less frequently might be welcome. I'm referring now to that side of the holiday season that is about how things SHOULD be and a revisionist history of how things WERE. I confess, Christmas always makes me very sad. Not the sitting in a corner rocking back and forth in the fetal position kind of sad, but more melancholy and wistful than I normally like to be. The unproductive kind of melancholy and wistful. This is not an indictment of my mother, but as a child I always remember Christmases as being a time when Mom would miss her family, living in another city. And now, I think of how things are different than Christmases past, and it sort of depresses me because it makes me think that things are not how they should be, that we (me?) messed up somewhere along the way. It's not that I couldn't or don't feel this way the rest of the year, it's just that I can handle it better without all this family togetherness and tradition and perfection and Martha all over the place. That's the image that's put out there, but the reality seems to be that Christmas is about feeling down on yourself. Man, I'd like to be 3 again. Blissfully ignorant and too little to carry any baggage.

So Merry Christmas to you all, Christian or not. Let's all leave our baggage on the airport carousel and enjoy some good company.

Judgment Day? You've got to be kidding me...

As usual, the Americans have it all wrong. No surprise I guess, since they put that dimwit asshole Dubya in the White House and Conan the Barbarian in charge of California.

It looks like Tookie Williams will die at midnight pacific time.

And despite the fact that he was convicted of murder four times over and co-founded one of the worst LA gangs, his execution is so wrong I find it more disgusting than contemplating his crimes and the horror of the families affected.

Jesse Jackson says he's reformed, Schwarzenegger says that's doubtful since he's apparently never apologized. Excuse me, but aren't they doing exactly what this Williams guy has been convicted of doing, that being deciding whether someone else deserves to die?

I'm not saying they should let him loose or anything, the legal system, faulty as it is in the States, did find him guilty, but why is it okay for "the state" to decide who should live or die, but not the individual?

And what's even more disgusting is that in making his decision, you can bet that Schwarzenegger was thinking about how many electoral votes Texas and Virginia have.

What makes "the Terminator" any better than Iraqi hostage takers, playing with peoples' lives like this?

If I had a million dollars?

So I woke up at 4:30 this morning and never really got back to dreamland. And it's only Wednesday. Long week.

On the plus side, I downloaded the BNL concert I went to on November 25. It's so cool that they sell a quality recording for a reasonable price. It's so cool that they just go with it and make the money and I get something entertaining to listen to in the car on the ride home. Love that.

And then I discovered some enterprising entrepreneur (is that redundant...maybe not?) has been trying to sell his or her vote in the upcoming federal election on ebay. Of course, investigations are underway. Come on now, have a sense of humour.

Just a few more Canadians showing their skills at evaluating emerging markets.