so sweet and pure and still newsworthy

Yesterday I was driving around in the big smoke, somewhat aimlessly, listening to Sarah Harmer's latest and greatest in stark contrast to my transportative existence in the city of lost innocence.

First the album...there's something so sweet and pure about this one, kinda bluegrass sounding (and I only sort of know what that might mean). The lyrics are cute, although I'll have to listen to "I'm a Mountain" a few more times to fully grasp that Walmart reference. I *love* "Oleander" and "I am Aglow", for both their lyrics and the instrumentation. Notice it's not "I'm Aglow" but "I am Aglow", which sounds a bit more certain and worthy.

And back to the city. Didn't make it down to Dundas Square but only as far as Yonge and Eglinton and then I'd had enough. I should've counted the traffic lights as I listed to "Escarpment Blues". But I was also thinking about the now named Jane Creba. If you were to google her right now, the logarithms still rate her as an award winner in the Toronto District School Board. It's far more than just a shame that it won't last that way for long. She's quite striking in the picture on the front page of all the papers. Shot in the head. Can there be anything more inhuman? More sudden? More disheartening?

And yet when I first heard I don't remember feeling surprised, just sad...thinking about her family, and hoping she didn't have enough time to feel terrified. Hoping that her family's terror will be mitigated by...what? God? Community? Faith?

I remember how shocked I felt by Vivi Lemonis in 1994 (yes, I had to google it to remember the date). I don't feel the same with Jane, but it does feel different. I hope that's a result of something other than desensitization, or being jaded. I think it's something else, because while I don't feel concerned for the soul of the city, whatever that means, I do feel concerned for her family and friends and her school.

And to the guy who wrote to the Star about how we don't hear about people being stabbed in Times Square, maybe it's just that we don't hear about it, not that it doesn't happen. I felt safe when I was there. And the next time I go to the Eaton Centre I'll probably be more concerned about someone stealing my purse than getting shot. But I am happy to live in a place where every single victim of gun violence is analyzed and agonized over in the local, even national news. Thank god it's still newsworthy. Let's keep it that way.

Nothing has ended
It's all been mended
It's the way that it should be
You're coming back
You're coming back
It was so lonely here just me
This time no promises of what's to come
We'll just live it for the day
Oleander I see you stand there and I know you'll be ok

-from "Oleander" by Sarah Harmer