Life/Death

I don't have a will or a living will. I am in constant danger of being smucked because of this daily challenge of mine against fate and irony and that Murphy guy.

I've been really too upset by this whole thing and haven't been able to write about it until now. Terri Schiavo died today and it's sad. But I don't know her. I should share my sadness with her family in the same subtle way such private tragedies affect all of us on a daily basis, which is to say, in a very minute, fleeting and passing way, if at all. I should have a living will, and so should everybody, not because there is a certain level of disability or inability or absence that separate the worth from the worthless, but because it is a private thing. Because that line is different for everybody.

Quite frankly, I don't know what my line is. It's a very difficult thing because I've been given a new perspective on what 'disability' means like a frying pan to the head in recent years. But god help me, god help all of us if some guy in a suit looking to score political points and some extra votes decides to take up my cause when I am without a voice. I think Terri Schiavo probably would have wanted her husband to make decisions for her, if she thought about it, during the moments she was collapsing to the floor in 1990. But who knows? What I am quite sure of is that she would not have wanted Jeb Bush or some other politician to be her guardian. How ironic that Republicans, long proponents of the "no government in your face" philosophy (which is not entirely bad or good in and of itself), want to get involved in the most personal, private thing there could ever be. Okay, so they do it with abortion too. And they're wrong there too.

Okay, so I've got to get on this will stuff.

But ultimately, a living will is a gift to the people you leave behind. I believe, that while it may have specifics about treatments and the like, it's ultimately there to say to your family and friends "I love you. I will forgive you no matter what results from your decision." And perhaps most importantly, it says "Thank you."

If it wasn't my life, this would be so funny

So yesterday I had a bad day. There was a lot of screaming and wailing (not by me) and at the end I wanted a cigarette. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, but this is the second time this has happened to me and I blame my mother. I know, not cool to blame the mother now, for various sociological and personal reasons but I think this is a fair one. I mean, where else would I get this idea that you smoke when you are stressed out. Really stressed out.

Needless to say, I am still weedless. How poetic. It took me, and is taking me, way too long to get over coca-cola and there's no way I'm starting down that road again with something new.

But anyway, so there was mayhem and in a strange way, it was like a comedy of errors. First one thing happens, then another unrelated thing, then another and soon you're running around in all directions. There's lots of noise and confusion. And if it was part of a sitcom, it might be hilarious. On stage it would be entertaining. At that moment it was not.

Definition: A comedy of errors is dramatic work (often a play) that is light and often humorous or satirical in tone and that usually contains a happy resolution of the thematic conflict.

So I have to figure out a way to turn it into something good. I'm working on that.

Men without brains who have planes

So now, today's part two.

Warning! When Air Canada has a seat sale, they mean just a seat, as in one (1).

Apparently, as Celine sings, "You and I were meant to fly", just not on the same flight. Okay, so I did get a flight, and so did Liz (though not the same one), for a price considerably less than what we expected (though slightly more than what we originally paid into the bottomless pit formerly known as Jetsgo), but there is something so screwy about airline pricing policies.

And despite what they try to tell you, it's not all about federal taxes and the cost of gasoline.

I think it's more about some guy in a comfy chair playing roulette after a liquid lunch or something.

50 tracks without hats

First I'd like to ask why the hell "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats ended up as a listener pick on 50 tracks. As I threatened before, if I know any of you who voted for this song, I will have to stop speaking to you forever. I guess my consolation is that the Hip's "New Orleans is Sinking" made the same list. There are so many songs out there that didn't make the list, I can honestly say Men Without Hats would make it on my list only if it was 1000 tracks. And maybe even then it would be a hard sell.

The final 50 tracks countdown is on this Saturday on CBC Radio One.

Éire go brách *Clink*

The great thing about St. Patrick's Day is its inclusivity. You can pretend your Irish and no one is offended. But you will find no jokes about drinking here, no pathetic affected Irish accent. Instead I offer you an yours a heartfelt Irish Blessing:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Okay, and one extra good wish that kind of gets into the drinking part, but really, it's all about friends, family and good times, right?

May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Here's to you and me and all that's good in this world! *Clink*

Happy Saint Paddy's Day!

Good People, Great Canadians

Just read an article about June Callwood in Toronto Life magazine. Then I saw that there's now a coin from the mint to honour Terry Fox.
What I love about these two people is that they let something affect them into a sincere course of action. Maybe that isn't the right word. What I mean is that their action was so bold and naked and had such high stakes. Hell, why not throw your heart on the line for something you care about. Easier said than done though. I deeply admire them both.

June Callwood is dying. And she doesn't seem bothered by it. I love how she uses words like crappy to describe parts of her life, knows she's dying, but just keeps going on her daily business. It's messy, and it's perfection. And then there's Terry Fox. Here's an excerpt of an email I wrote my Dad on October 18, 2004, shortly after the CBC announced "The Greatest Canadian" showdown.

I don't mean to exclude sports figures entirely by any means, but while Don Cherry does do a lot of charity work, he is personally obnoxious. I would go for Tommy Douglas because he so completely predicted that in a few short generations, health care would be something that would be so important to the national psyche, the fabric of our being, even if it is imperfect. Pearson, yes, personified, and in fact created, the idea of the peacemaker.

But, as you know, I love the underdog.

On the list is a young man who had a dream to make something of a what other people would use as an excuse to give up and took it on, full throttle, silently suffering a lot of physical pain--before prosthetic technology had made it a slightly more feasible thing to do. And the most startling thing? He never finished.

There are peacemakers in Afghanistan, India, Pakistan and Haiti because of Lester B. Pearson. Young pregnant women in Vancouver's lower east side, Ronnie Hawkins and even Mom have access to better health care than they would otherwise because of Tommy Douglas. But there's a Terry Fox run to raise money for cancer research every year in places as far and near as China, South Africa, France and especially Canada because Terry Fox only made it to Thunder Bay.

He made it a lot farther.

Not a scientist, not a lawyer, not a statesman.

And I think one day, when the cure for cancer has been found (and I have to believe that), it will be because he dipped his artificial leg into the Atlantic in St. John's, Newfoundland and started the Marathon of Hope.

*sniff, sniff* and that's my Celine Dion heart pounding moment for today.

Why you should use VISA

So while it's appropriate to pass along any bad customer service experience, it's also appropriate to pass along the good experiences. Kudos to Visa for caring about their customers. The news release also talks about protection for purchases online, which is news to me, and good news at that.

I may need that as I continue to take action against a certain eBay seller.

...and Jetsgo's piece of crap President is Michel Leblanc

Okay, so this guys name is in a news release I just put a link to in the previous post. Here's the direct quote from the release:

Michel Leblanc, President of Jetsgo, said: "We deeply regret that this had to happen. The decision to cease operations was only taken after difficult deliberation. We are very concerned about our customers and the significant hardship that this action causes. In the meantime, we encourage our passengers to contact their travel agent or an alternative airline."

That's way too little, way too late a******.

So let's say that Jetsgo doesn't emerge from bankruptcy and is just kaput. He may be looking for a new job then, right?

In my opinion, this Mr. Leblanc fellow is obviously not a good manager if it comes to the point where his client base finds out they lost their money through the local radio station. I will say nothing of many Jetsgo employees who probably worked very hard at their job and likely new nothing of this. Let's hope they find a new, and better employer.

HR people out there, I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Jetsgo is a good for nothing piece of crap

Well, as my boss said, the lord giveth and the lord taketh away, sometimes twofold or more.

Yesterday I won 100 big ones in the Heart and Stroke Lottery. Okay, so the ticket cost 100 dollars, but since I didn't expect to win anything, and was prepared to live satisfied in the knowledge that I had contributed to stroke research, this was a bonus.

I did however expect to get something in return for my money to Jetsgo, the now bankrupt airline that ceased operation, with no notice, mere hours ago. And okay, the upside is that, although Liz and I may not get our money back, at least we weren't already at the airport, waiting for a flight, when this happened. At least we can make other arrangements and still have a good vacation.

Still, it's very shitty.

Jetsgo is a good for nothing piece of crap. And if I could get on to their website to find out the name of their president, I would surround this person's name with several expletives right here.

The Right 'Parts' for the Job

Although I disagree with some of her policy ideas (and I mean specifically the one about birth control being evil), Mother Teresa was quite the humanitarian of our time. It's a shame that a woman so devout and devoted to catholicism was paradoxically somehow not good enough to serve as its spiritual leader on earth. Yes, she didn't have the same biological parts as Saint Peter, and that seems to matter somehow. I think if Jesus didn't have a problem with the lepers, God certainly doesn't have a problem with a woman's ability to lead. But then again we're talking about the Catholic Church, and not God--two vastly different things.

I found a quote from Mother Teresa while doing some surfing today that, despite my reservations about certain aspects of her interpretation of what is humane (as mentioned above), managed to hit me as particularly meaningful, no matter what you call God, or if you call her at all.

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway.

Just as an aside, you'll notice I said "her" up there. I have to admit, I usually think "him" but that may be from conditioning. I saw an episode of "Kids in the Hall" a long time ago and they referred to God as looking a lot like Oprah. She'd probably say something like that quote as well.

Funny though, can't picture JP 2 saying it, can you?

A Privy Counsel

I wrote a short story with this title once, except it was Council not Counsel, and about the assassination of the PM in parliament. That was pre-2001, when although far-fetched, it may have been possible for the particularly deviant, especially given what happened in the Quebec leg in ’84. And then again some guy just set fire to himself on the ground of Queen’s Park. Science fiction even pales in comparison.

But I digress. I did write counsel, and not council, because I meant “the act of talking things over; consultation or deliberation”. Yesterday, for a reason unrelated to this rant I spent a lot of time in a hospital waiting room. While I waited, I couldn’t help but overhear private conversations between administrators at a “patient reception” area. Some were quite loud due to the hearing difficulties of some patients as they spoke to the administrators before waiting their turn for a procedure, one likely ordered by their family doctor for which they’d waited a long time to get over with.

How many times did I hear “Have you been a patient in another hospital in the past 30 days?”, “Do you have any allergies?”….and the answers too. Once again, you can try not to listen, but often you really can’t help but overhear. And what about those nefarious individuals who are trying to overhear. It makes me uncomfortable. And it should.

And anti-fraud experts wonder why people are so free with their personal information. It’s because we’re expected to be in exchange for most government services. And my sense is this is likely as a protection against liability. So the individuals liability against identity theft is sacrificed for the hospital’s protection. Okay, and yours too in a roundabout sort of way.

And I’m even sacrificing some of my protection against identity theft in writing this. I’m giving up my privacy to be part of a community, I guess?

I think what I mean is that the scales are balanced a little too much in favour of the hospital at the expense of the already vulnerable patients.

I think this post is a classic example of my abandonment of the obsession with cohesion, n’est pas? I have no idea what my point is. Whatever.

If I were GG...

Dear Canada:

Adrienne Clarkson’s time at Rideau Hall will draw to a close at some point, and I write this letter asking you to consider me as a candidate for her successor. If you were to appoint me as Governor General of this rockin' nation, I promise to do you proud.

No more circumpolar trips. Honestly, it’s not that I think they weren’t worth the money, but no one has money to travel like that so I plan to live more frugally. I’ll visit you in your hometown, and I’m happy to fly economy or drive myself. And no more fancy-schmancy hors d'oeuvres and ritzy dinners either. I think the best way to “encourage national identity, national unity, and moral leadership” is to chow down on some nicely barbecued Alberta steak in the backyard with soldiers returning from Afghanistan (and it’s a big yard, so bring your families too). I think the best way to “promote Canadian sovereignty” is to invite disenfranchised youth to come on over for a big bash featuring K-os and Sam Roberts and Terri Clarke and let them discover a reason to tune into the Canadian arts over the flash of the States, but at the same time I would let them draw their own conclusions about how to make it real for their generation.

I would “celebrate excellence” through the Order of Canada and the GG’s Literary Arts Awards, but I would also ask all the nurses and personal support workers in Canada to nominate one or two amongst themselves each year for special recognition for the hard, backbreaking and emotionally difficult work they do every day. I would “represent the crown in Canada” as head of state by espousing those things that are most honourable about our current form of government in Canada. What I mean to say is that, provided you do not use profanity, you may ask any question you like in my presence. There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. And if the answer is stupid, well then I promise to do what I can to effect change so that things will make more sense.

There are other things that I would like to accomplish, such as lowering the voting age, making the senate more accountable, and even, perhaps, making the position of GG an elected one. But alas, these are legislative changes and would be outside my purview as GG. However, I firmly believe that political office is not the only way, perhaps not even the best way, to encourage and influence our country and the world. As GG, I would promote all those responsibilities of the role, as I highlighted above, with a view to increasing citizen participation in our society though the day to day activities we all undertake to make our lives better. I would do my best to shed light on those in the corners of the ring, fighting hard for their beliefs, whatever they may be. Most importantly, my fellow Canadians, I will meet you where you are, both literally and figuratively, and do my best to champion what you define as Canada. I will help you celebrate Canada. I am one of you. I am yours.

I have a lot more ideas, so if you have any questions, just drop me an e-mail. And none of this "Honourable" stuff, just call me Lise.

Thank you in advance for consideration of my application.

A plus tard,

Lise

Lise Rambles on a Thursday, Slow News Day

It’s been awhile since I posted and I feel like I should throw something up here. I didn’t mean that in the sense of ‘regurgitate’, in case you were wondering. I’m still sort of working on my short story “Used as a Comparative” but after reading “No Crystal Stair” I’m plagued by doubt. Maybe it sucks. Maybe I should stick to the funny stuff that I always get good feedback on. But I can't seem to do funny fiction, only non-fiction. Dammit rock, bleed!

The problem is that one can’t really have any objectivity about oneself.

Today I have a bit of a headache. Something smells nice and I feel like eating. And I want to go to Las Vegas. Like right now would be good. But I’d like to change into jeans first.

Last night my mother asked me if I thought there was “something missing in my life”.

Yes. It’s Bobcaygeon. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"cause it was in Bobcaygeon where I saw the constellations reveal themselves one star at a time"

And since we’re on the topic of lyrics, here’s an excerpt from “Man I Used to Be” from K-os that I really like. Some versions have reference to “no pile on your plane” but I think it makes more sense to say “no pilot on your plane”. If K-os meant pile, sorry buddy, but you put it out there, and I hear what I want to hear. If it can work for the Pope, why not me?

"I woke up in the morning

I took a trip to the corner store

That's when I heard my calling

But I'd never heard the voice of truth before

So I kept on walking

Pretended I didn't see

Walked by a window and my reflection said to me

You could try all the same

But you'll never know this mystery

There's no pilot on your plane

So you're not the man you used to be

Try all the game, but you'll never know this mystery

When your pilot has no plane

So you're not the man you used to be"