When Thursday is Friday

Looked that up on google and I got a link to Wikipedia’s entry for "Thursday", which notes:

“Some have adopted an acronym for Thursday, similar to Friday's T.G.I.F., to say "So Happy It's Thursday," or S.H.I.T.”

Aren’t populist encyclopedia’s great? You wouldn't find that in Funk and Wagnalls. Here’s another winner from the same entry:

"In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, the character Arthur Dent says "This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays". A few minutes later the planet Earth is destroyed. Thor, for whom the day was named, also appears later in the Hitchhiker's series and in other Adams books."

If we aren’t careful, Star Trek and Dungeons and Dragons may appear far more popular in our historical texts than they actually have been. But then again, I suppose this is just another item in the long line that begins with “Canadian History 101: First there were Indians. Then the Europeans came”. If Bill Gates and his ilk win (have won?) I guess they get to write the history. Sad but true.

So did I mention tomorrow is a statutory holiday? Before Mondays were meeting days for me, Thursdays were meeting days, which meant, after the switch, that I was constantly fighting the mindset that Tuesdays were casual days. Confused?

Well, you’re not alone. So is the US Department of Agriculture. They’re supposed to be busy finding good steak for the barbie and instead, they are getting terrorists confused with cows, or more to the point, a certain rare white tiger that is the pet of some rather infamous but oddly closeted life partners in Sin City. Apparently the USDA has been investigating Montecore’s revenge on Ray Horn in 2003. They just released the report. Check out this nugget, a tip offered to the USDA after the event, courtesy of Yahoo News:

"If there is audio & video of the tiger attack it should be analyzed for far-UV and or high ultra sonics, as well as other triggers that might be the work of a terrorist aiming at a high profile gay target."

Sounds like that guy needs some of Tom Cruise’s vitamins. Because if Osama Been Forgotten can’t get George Bush, why not some inconsequential Las Vegas performer? I mean that would be a real blow to those Americans, eh? Don't get me wrong, the Mirage was great and all, but Roy? Surely even Big Bird would have hit closer to home?

In the meantime, how about we get those Alberta ranchers a bit happier and devote some thought to opening up the border, especially now that you have your own mad cow, from Texas I might add….hehe (I’ll let you finish that joke). Unless of course you think our cows contain listening devices to try to figure out your secret plan to win the war in Iraq? Oh that's right, the war is over. I just got a little confused there...