Monday, January 17, 2005

Life, in the balance

Originally Posted on: Mon, Jan 10 2005 9:55 AM

Once upon a time I worked for an organization that undertook to survey its employees about the concept of “work-life balance” and how they were or were not able to practice this in their daily lives. Everyone around me got a copy of the survey and was chatting about it, which I could not avoid in our open concept, cubicle hell of an office environment. When I pointed out that I didn’t receive a survey, I was told by a colleague that it was because “I had no family”. No, I’m not a hermit, I just didn’t (and still don’t) have a husband or kids. But the implication was that because I had none of these trappings of life so often moaned about by my fellow employees, I didn’t have anything with which I needed to worry about balancing my work.

Now although the most likely reason that I didn’t receive the survey was because of some administrative error—I mean the organization did have many hundreds of employees, so I’m sure they weren’t bothering to ferret out the non-married, non-parents—it does illustrate a bias held, though not often admitted. You have no spouse, no children; therefore, you have no responsibilities in life.

However, I’d like to point out that I have parents who require my attention and assistance and many more of you will in the years to come as the baby boomers age. Who will take them to appointments, help them to manage their health care and, when the time comes, act as their final advocate? This can be some very heavy stuff people, so beware to those who can even compare it to shuffling off to soccer, hockey and Brownies. It’s totally different and presents a whole new set of ‘balance issues’ that I’m thinking a parent-teacher interview may not be able to prepare you for.

I also have grandparents who I worry about on a fairly regular basis. Should I read in between the lines about what Grandma is saying about Grandpa’s health or take it at face value? Would they call for help if they needed it? Would they know if they needed it? They live thousands of miles away…how can I manage relationships with those who are closer in physical proximity to ensure that my grandparents have assistance?

Then I have a recently unemployed, now gainfully employed, brother and a dog, who thankfully is healthy (though if you have ever lost a pet you know how the delicate balance of your life can be profoundly affected). I also have best friends, who also have pets and parents and spouses and kids and life to balance with their work.

And yes, I do make friends with those on the other side of the married with children divide…. because, you see, it’s all about trying to find BALANCE in your life.

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